


Past Wounds

by Ladyanaconda



Series: Tears of Despair and Joy [15]
Category: Book of Life (2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Temper Tantrums, Toddlers, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 17:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4713695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyanaconda/pseuds/Ladyanaconda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Although emotional wounds tend to mend a bit with time, they never heal completely. After an emotional outburst in front of Marigold, Xibalba finds that his daughter has grown afraid of him, and now must remind her that no matter what happens he will always love her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past Wounds

****

* * *

** 4 Hours Earlier **

* * *

When Marigold was two years old, she was very, _very_ curious. This often got her into trouble more often than not, but Xibalba never raised his hand or his voice at her, he knew she was just a child and she was just learning, it was natural that she wanted to learn all she could. She’d always follow him around, except when he went to work; he was teaching her that his study was a ‘no’ place. Thankfully she was very smart, and understood what he meant to say perfectly.

And so, Xibalba was surprised when he found the doors to his study open.

It didn’t take an expert to figure out who had snuck in. 

Usually, when Marigold disobeyed him , he only reproached her mildly and let her know he was not happy, with that it was enough, what counted was to get her to understand the point. When he stepped into his study and glanced at his desk, he found Marigold standing next to the much larger furniture, apparently looking into one of the drawers. Grinning mischievously, Xibalba silently slithered towards her with the intention of taking her by surprise. But as he approached, suddenly all humor left him as he saw which drawer she had peeked in; she had taken out a small, blue baby mantle with purple snakes and green stars, a red rattle, pacifier and many other things. 

Suddenly, he didn’t know what overcame him, if anger, pain, a sorrowful rage or a combination or both, but when he saw those things, those things he had tucked away to keep painful memories away, he stomped his way to Marigold and roughly pulled her away from the drawer, making her squeal in fright and pain. When she looked up at her father in confusion, she saw in his eyes not the usual tenderness and love, but anger and sorrow, and it was directed at _her_. 

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT COMING HERE?!” he yelled at her, his eyes swelling up with tears. “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PEEKING INTO MY THINGS?!”

Marigold stepped back in fear, her eyes becoming moist as her father stretched out his wings menacingly, his mouth growing pointy fangs. “Papa…?”

“GET OUT!!” 

“Papa…!” Marigold tried to hug his legs, but he pushed her away. 

“GO AWAY!”

“XIBALBA!” 

Regina’s voice echoed in the room, she stood in the doorway, staring at Xibalba with an utter look of disbelief and shock. Marigold started to wail and ran towards Regina, wrapping her arms around her. “What the hell are you thinking?!” 

“Just-!” Xibalba took his hands to his temples, sobbing as he rested his other hand on top of his desk, digging his claws unto the obsidian. “Please… Just… Leave me alone… Please…” 

Although confused as to his sudden change of mood, Regina picked the wailing child up and carried her out, leaving the dark god alone. Xibalba collapsed unto his chair, picking up the little rattle and blanket, stroking them tenderly with great longing and pain. He placed the things back into the drawer and closed it shut, before starting to sob again.

* * *

** Present **

* * *

 

“… Sweetie…?”

Xibalba peeked into his daughter’s nursery silently without making any noise, holding a plate of chocolate chip biscuits, Marigold’s favorites. He felt terrible after what happened, he couldn’t believe he had actually _yelled_ at her; he didn’t want to imagine the terror she went through, not being used to seeing his darker side. He wanted to reconcile with her and let her know he was sorry. He saw Marigold on the ground, playing with her blocks with Regina and Lorenzo. Now was a good time.

“Oh, sweetie….” Xibalba chimed, stepping into the room. “Look what papi brought for-“

But as soon as she saw him, Marigold wailed and abandoned her game, crawling towards Regina and burying her face into her chest. Xibalba blinked in confusion. He tried to approach, but Marigold cried louder. 

“What’s wrong, _mi florecita_?” Once more, Xibalba reached out to touch his daughter, but she only cried louder. 

“Well, what did you expect after you practically _roared_ at her?” Regina sighed, crossing her arms and patting Marigold’s back to soothe her down a bit.

Lorenzo shrugged. “Eyup.” 

He felt hurt when she wailed at full volume whenever he tried to touch her; he hadn’t meant to scare her like that. Placing the biscuits aside for the time being, Xibalba reached out and gently took his daughter from Regina, but as soon as he touched her Marigold started to wiggle violently in his hold, flapping her wings desperately and even going as far as to _smack_ her father’s hands. “No! No!” 

“Marigold, it’s me!” Xibalba cried out, trying to hold her in his arms, but then she started pounding on his chest and he had to lay het back down on the ground; Marigold then crawled to under her crib, whimpering, where her father would not be able to catch her. 

“Wonderful. Just wonderful.” Xibalba took a hand to his temples. “My own daughter is afraid of me.” There was no reply, and he glanced at Regina and Lorenzo, none of them had said anything. “What? Aren’t you going to give me a sermon?” 

“Nope.” Lorenzo replied.

“What do you want me to say?” Regina added, crossing her skeletal arms. “You had an emotional outburst in front of her, I do not approve of the way you yelled at her. She is not to blame over… what happened so many centuries ago.” 

“I know, I just…” Xibalba sighed, doing his best not to lose control again. The dark god crawled over to Marigold’s large crib and took a peek beneath it; he only had to peek his head to make Marigold crawl further back, trying to get further away from his grasp. “Come on, sweetie! I’m not going to hurt you!” 

“I’ll bring some chocolate flan.” Regina said, standing up and heading towards the door. “Who knows? It’s her favorite, it may coax her out. Just try not to scare her to death again.” Lorenzo was quick to follow her, this was between their Lord and his daughter.

Xibalba ignored the remark and continued to try and reach out for his daughter, cooing at her and talking sweetly to her, but she hid behind her wings and continued to sob. Realizing it wouldn’t work, Xibalba sat down against the crib and tried to think of another way to coax her out. However, up to now it wasn’t working. He had to think of something else. Maybe one of her favorite toys would do the trick; a finger snap later he was holding Rattles in his left hand, and shook it just beneath the cradle, in her line of sight. “Oh, Marigold!” he chimed in a raspy voice. “I’m your friend, Rattles! Come on, let’s play!” Usually his baby would squeal in delight and crawl towards her plush to take it from his grasp, but now he didn’t hear a sound coming from her. He guessed it wouldn’t work either. 

Okay, plan B. Xibalba reached out for the biscuits he had brought and placed it at his side. “Sweetie, I brought you your favorites. I’ll leave them here in case you want one.” He waited to see if this new tactic worked; five minutes passed, then other five, and by the time twenty minutes had passed Xibalba realized it wouldn’t work. Damn it, what did he have to do to cheer his daughter up?!

Perhaps he should try a different approach. He once heard of an effective child-baiting tactic from Toci. Xibalba snapped his fingers, summoning a small piece of wood and a small knife, and started to carve the wooden piece. He hadn’t done this for a long time, ever since he was a child and would carve little wooden animals for La Muerte as birthday presents, but he remembered enough to carve one little animal for his baby. 

Marigold was hiding behind her wings when she heard the sound of a knife and wood, she curiously and silently started crawling towards the edge of the crib to take a small peek to what her father was doing. She saw him cutting off little pieces of the wood with a knife, thankfully his whole attention was on that piece of wood. Silently, Marigold crawled a little further out from beneath the crib to take a better look.

She was caught off guard when her father suddenly caught her by the waist and picked her up. 

“Gotcha!” Xibalba cried out triumphantly, but his grin vanished when she started to wail her lungs out and wiggle in his hold again. “Nonono! It’s okay, _mi florecita_!” In desperation he grabbed Rattles and shook it over her. “Look, it’s your friend Rattles!” but she grabbed it abruptly and threw it away, continuing to cry. 

Xibalba held her tightly against his chest, cooing and shushing at his baby as he tried numerous times to soothe her down, but she continued screaming and trying to wiggle off his embrace. Damn it, what did she want from him?! Or rather, what did she _not_ want from him? He wished La Muerte were here, she would have known what to do… she would have never yelled at her, she would have held her against her chest and soothed her lovingly with a lullaby. That was it. He just hoped it would work for him. Tightening his hold on his baby as he pressed her against his chest so that her chin was resting on his shoulder, Xibalba started to sing.

**_ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine _ ** ****

**_ You make me happy when skies are grey _ ** ****

**_ You'll never know dear, how much I love you _ ** ****

**_ Please don't take my sunshine away _ **

For a moment, Marigold continued to scream and flail as she tried to pull back from her father’s embrace, but soon her cries diminished into sobs and snivels as she listened to his rich baritone voice. Xibalba sighed, relieved that his tactic was working, and carefully

**_ The other night dear, as I lay sleepin' _ ** ****

**_ I dreamed, I held you in my arms _ ** ****

**_ When I awoke dear, I was mistaken _ ** ****

**_ So I hung my head and I cry _ **

**_ You told me once dear, you really loved me _ ** ****

**_ And no one else could come between _ ** ****

**_ But now you've left me and you love another _ ** ****

**_ And you have shattered all my dreams _ **

**_ I'll always love you and make you happy _ ** ****

**_ If you will only say the same _ ** ****

**_ But if you leave me to love another _ ** ****

**_ But you'll regret it all some day _ **

Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he continued with the song, one he composed during his estrangement from La Muerte, it brought him hurtful memories, but he continued with the song. When he was certain his baby had soothed down, Xibalba pulled her back and cradled her in his arms, glancing down at his baby’s glossy eyes, offering her a comforting, tender smile as he gingerly brushed her tiny tears with his thumb.

**_ You are my sunshine, my little sunshine.  _ **

**_ You make me happy when skies are grey _ **

**_ Someday you’ll know, dear, how much I love you. _ **

**_ Please do not take my sunshine away. _ **

Marigold saw her father was crying, and reached out her little hands to wipe his tears away, before covering her eyes only to remove them seconds later. “Pee-a-Boo!”

Xibalba chuckled sadly as he pulled her closer and planted a small kiss on her forehead. “I’m so sorry, _mi pequeña_. I didn’t mean to yell at you, papi was just… hurt over something that… well, when your big brother…” he sighed again, unable to continue. “But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Can you ever forgive me?” He didn’t really expect her to understand at all what he meant about her brother, the baby he and La Muerte lost so many centuries ago. But she _did_ understand when he said he was sorry, as she pressed her hands against his chest. 

“I wuv yu, papi.” She said. 

“I love you more, my sweet baby.” He kissed her cheek yet again, before grabbing the little wooden figure he just carved for her. It was a small horse, not small enough for her to choke on. “Look what papi made for you.”

Marigold’s attention centered on the wooden figure as her fingers explored it curiously. “Ballito?” 

“Yes, my sweet. It’s a _caballito_.” As his daughter fidgeted with the wooden horse, Xibalba levitated the long-forgotten Rattles to his hand and shook it over her head. “Hi, Marigold.” he spoke with the raspy voice again, but with a small twinge of sadness. “Are you still mad at me?” 

Driving her attention back from her wooden horse, the godling now was looking at Rattles as she held out her little hands for it. “Daddles…” 

Smiling, the dark god started nuzzling the plush’s snout against his daughter’s belly. “Bwahaha! I’m the tickle monster!” 

Marigold giggled hysterically as she tried to push Rattles away from her belly. “No, Daddles, no!” 

They continued to play for the rest of the day. Xibalba made a mental note to how to deal with tantrums.


End file.
